I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
