6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
