So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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