Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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