I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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