i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
