It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
