I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
