go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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