At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
