I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
