My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
