I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
