The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize