Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
