He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
