I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
