guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
