Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
