which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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