K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
