I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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