Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
