Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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