So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
