don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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