I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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