I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
