We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
