i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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