you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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