if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
