I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize