I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize