He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
