do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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