Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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