I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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