nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
