Soap is not a condiment
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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