Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
