it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
