I just saw a hot homeless man
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
