My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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