She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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