remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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