Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
