just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
