Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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