so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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