im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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