and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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