we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
