i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
