Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
