Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
