she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
