If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
