Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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