PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize