got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
