the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
