Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
